oprahsmom: mistletoe? more like mistleNO ha ha someone please date me
kinglamp: iamthelamp: warpedlamp: lampghost: short people are the cutest thing ever I hate to interrupt but I noticed you have a lamp url. I have a lamp url myself. I too have a lamp url. You’re probably wondering why I have gathered you all here today…
manosukestoned420: omfg i told my little brother that using the word “homo” as an insult isnt nice and noW HES ON XBOX LIVE AND HE KEEPS YELLING “YOU FREAKING HETEROSEXUALS” OMFG
itsdeepforhappypeople: mother-fucking-avengers: mother-fucking-avengers: text posts without many notes are like those local businesses that sell really cool stuff but are ignored by people who’d rather go to walmart this literally makes no sense why are you guys reblogging this We’re supporting local text posts.
8oo: i told my dad his chicken was dry and tasteless and he said it was made out of my humor
helioscentrifuge: goatinahat: themattumblr: The more swiss cheese you have, the more holes you have. The more holes you have, the less swiss cheese you have. Therefore, the more swiss cheese you have, the less swiss cheese you have. Stop dividing by zero
multipack: i’m only a morning person on december 25th
me: *taking test*
stomach: hey wanna hear my impression of satan
ruffalofluffalo: i feel like this gif accurately represents me when exposed to direct sunlight
and then i spent the next 10 hours on this website →
horanismywhore: f is for friends who do stuff without you u is for ur alone n is no one wants to be with you because all you do is sit at home
When someone grabs a creepy bug.
They look at you like And you’re like So you start running and screaming like hell
When I see a joke on Tumblr:
when I see the same joke on Facebook:
When someone gives your crush a flirty smile.
How you act when you hear a dirty joke..
With your friends: With your family: With younger kids:
me: okay its time to be productive today
me: let me just go on tumblr first
me: well its getting late i should probably get to bed
m0rtality: 11 year old’s usernames when I was 11: fairy_princess 11 year old’s usernames now: fuckmeharry69
When someone hugs me.
sodamnrelatable: My friends: My parents: Other relatives:
IN MY BEDROOM: IN BATHROOM: WITH MY FRIENDS: IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER: IN A PARTY:
The People That Born Between 1994 And 1999 Are...
maryyulz: We already lived in two different millenniums We already lived in two different ages We already lived in 3 different decades We already passed through: 1/1/1, 2/2/2, 3/3/3, 4/4/4, 5/5/5, 6/6/6, 7/7/7, 8/8/8, 9/9/9, 10/10/10, 11/11/11 And we are gonna pass through: 12/12/12 We are gonna watch the End of the World And all that without have 18 years old!
That awkward moment when the teacher asks you a...
sodamnrelatable: and even looking at the book won’t help so you go like this :
If you like water, then you already like 72% of...
crossbowsandbowties: jon-egbert: bundy-ramirez-dahmer: Remember duck duck goose? If that wasn’t the most anxiety inducing game ever then I have no idea what is. musical chairs #no #musical chairs was a battle to the fucking death#that game was training us for the hunger games #THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE VICTOR #GET OFF MY CHAIR BITCH
When you unexpectedly get your period over night...
beesquid: all the fucking time OMG I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE MY STOMACH!!! WHAT JESUS LORD
How I feel when I finally get a joke →